I don’t know what it is about writing, but somehow getting the proverbial pen to paper, really helps to interpret my feelings into human. I love nitpicking thro beliefs, concepts and thoughts in my head and unravelling them into the written word. As well as finding my bearings in God’s-eye-view.
At the moment, I have so many thoughts bulging at the cranial seams, ready to nab involuntary space away from hiccups, breathing and sneezing. I have quite literally considered setting periodic alarms to remind me to breathe deeply – and this isn’t THAT blonde joke – I’ve noticed recently that I have somehow been managing to survive on these little shallow puffs of oxygen, which barely get me from child A to child B. My thoughts feel the same, they are malnourished without the ability to see their favourite parts of speech surrounding and breathing tangible life into little black and white symbols of sense.
The enemies of writing right now = time and tiredness. Trying to prioritise and meet my two little children’s needs doesn’t allow for much day at the end and if there are some bonus moments leftover, then they are encountering more of an eye lid than a ball. I think that has been the hardest thing to set aside as a parent of younglins – finding solitude & creativity in my headspace and allowing something meaningful / tangible to develop from what I have absorbed. Hopefully it’s not to odd too say ‘out loud’ that I actually really enjoy spending time with me… and I have come to realise and accept that being a day-dreaming thinker isn’t as bad as my preschool teacher made out. And if in some hesitant moment I feel the unwarranted need to try and justify that ~ cos this world loves to pat the back of busy-performer-bees ~ then lets just say that writing is my doing word. My beloved verb. Don’t you know that I am very very busy sorting out all the worlds problems in my pip?!!
Right now i am actually meant to be working on our new house design. The walls are flying up and design decisions are queueing but in this little stolen moment I am lavishing the flow of my fingers… and I actually don’t care if this post has no heading or deep message, correct punctuation or even if it’s congruent. I just needed to remember the feeling.
So here I am writing about writing and I haven’t actually written anything.
But it was worth it.