Remembering…

This first post! Oh my it feels hard – not for reasons of emotion but because of my irritating perfectionist ways! So I just want to do a head twirl and say ‘blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ to get my mind flowing and to freely share all the deep grammar-typos stored in my heart.

Cool, i think that was liberating!

This is not my first blog, I started another one about 3 years ago and quickly suffered from self-imposed readership jitters. So this time I want to start out incognitoish to my immediate world but I do want to meet those walking this rather infertile road with me and I am also keen to translate my little scribble heart diary into blogland because the more passionate and emotional I get, the more scrawling my scribblings become. AND… I WANT TO REMEMBER… this most painful journey that has shaped my husband and I forever.I do long for a day when I forget some sharpness that this pain brings, but at the same time, I always want to be moved with empathy beyond myself to comfort others walking this same road. This road that has the potential to end in hopeless desperation, if walked alone. So this is me remembering… while I am still in the thick of it. Remembering too, the purpose in my pain. Eyes fixed on my One, True HOPE!  How else?

And so I still say “Remember me LORD, as YOU did Hannah in 1 Samuel”


Published by panjels

When i’m not crawling around on the floor after my children, loving them, cleaning up after them, teaching them to love and clean up after themselves…. then, well... theres a whole marvellous quarter of life left over to homify the house we just built, shoot the breeze with friends that can go deep, share our infertility and adoption journey, create a natural home, grow the food we eat, eat the food we grow and advance as a wannabe habitating minimalist mom (it's a thing). All thro this I trust and chat to God. Then, if i'm lucky I find time to write about it. Join me on my journey! –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

One thought on “Remembering…”

  1. danielletoendure says:
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    Welcome!!! So glad you are willing to share your story. It is truly SOOO hard, but so live giving to offer up your heart and pour out your soul on these blogs. There is a bigger community than I ever could have imagined. We are all walking this same infertile road of heartache and grief…though I know we have great hope in our Savior. I look forward to following your story. Blessings!

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